Following the plan.

A brisk walk today. Single digit temperatures energize Bruno and that means much of the walk is actually a canter for him. The faster pace keeps him warm. Still, his ears flap in the wind he creates and I worry about frostbite. He just doesn’t seem to notice. We made it short walk – the Ravinia route – but the cold tires him out. I have a sleeping pooch at my feet as I write. Correction – a snoring pooch. Ah, the sound of contentment.

Still no word from the local opportunity that I interviewed with in early November. I find it disappointment when a company promises to contact you by a certain date “because we don’t want to keep people hanging,” and then doesn’t follow through. It’s troublesome for me being that I am so very customer-centric. I realize that this is an employer’s market but you still need to follow whatever plan you’ve put into place. Otherwise, I have to wonder how good you are at serving your paying customer. Yet, that means you really NEED ME! Hahaha! I’ve just amused myself with that logic.

I did get contacted by the State of Wisconsin for an interview. Get this…I took the exam for an Unemployment Benefits Specialist 1 back in June, did rather well, and now I’m being interviewed (not until January 5) for one of four positions (two permanent, two temp) that are available in Appleton. Boy, do I have experience on this subject! I’ve had to call several times with questions and I feel pretty confident about being able to handle what they call, controversial situations. I know that I’ve probably been one of the nicer callers they get in the course of a day but I go out of my way to be nice to them. For the number of calls each person takes from people in sad, awful situations, I’m sure that the specialists get blasted on a regular basis. Lots of people need to vent. I hope that the conversation they have with me is pleasant and feels like a bit of a break. And now, I have the potential of being one of them. You know, it’s a great fit. Knowing exactly how the caller feels and understanding that not everyone goes at their situation with a positive attitude comes naturally to me. The bad thing is that it’s pretty low pay but we’d be able to make it. I’d be able to stay in my house, pay all my bills, and have great benefits. At some point I’d also have the inside track for other positions or have the opportunity to be promoted. See…positive attitude.

Doc and I continue to follow our plan. I'm searching for whatever assistance for which we now qualify and I’m amazed at how much there is. I don’t know if funding is there, but I’m certainly willing to do the work filling out forms and waiting in line. I am so grateful for the programs that exist. Even if we can’t be funded, I’ve seen people in far off worse situations than we are and I feel for them. This month, if you can do it, please buy one of the pre-packaged sacks of food at your local grocery store for your food pantry, donate old towels, blankets, or cleaning supplies to your pet shelter, or pull an ornament from a merchant’s donation tree to buy a basic necessity for someone who doesn’t have shampoo, deodorant, or shaving cream. I have. It’s part of our plan.

What’s the right thing to do?

It finally snowed! Bruno loves the snow. He’s a completely different dog in the snow - full of energy, happy wagging tail, and that "puppiness" (I know, not a word) bounce that very young bassets have. We call him a “plow hound” because he thrusts his nose into the snow down to the ground and plows, snorting all the way. Sometimes the snow sticks to his snout and if it’s really cold, he gets little icicles. That’s gotta hurt but he doesn’t seem to mind. I never know if I should wipe him off or leave it alone.

Today we’re waiting for “the big one.” Doc just left for the grocery store to stock up. It sounds so funny but we’re preparing for a couple of days without an outing. Late this afternoon we’re headed off to Dottie’s for a bit of social time. Dottie is one of our retired neighbors and has become a close friend. We call visits to her home mini-mental health breaks. She loves many of the same things we do: opera, public radio, the symphony (Dottie plays the viola in the Fox Valley Symphony) and theater. We miss living near Chicago – we were members of the Lyric Opera and on our local Chapter board of directors, we attended Chicago Symphony performances, and we looked forward to programs at Ravinia. At least these visits with Dottie satisfy much of those needs. She’s a great neighbor who is trying to do the right things where we are concerned.

I have a question for all of you. My friend Dan has interviewed for a technical writer position with a great company that is growing at leaps and bounds. Lucky man! He followed up last week to get information about his status and was told by the hiring manager, not HR, that out of the group that they interviewed for the position, he was the only person who did not receive a rejection letter. OK, here’s where you go “Woo-Hoo!” right? Wrong. Dan was told “not to buy a new wardrobe just yet,” that they were going to continue searching for candidates. Apparently, if they can’t find someone with experience in a particular software package and an electrical engineering background, Dan might be the person they want. Talk about a blow that takes the wind out of you. When he told me the story, I felt so bad for him having to be on the roller coaster. Yippee! He’s not rejected! Dang! He’s not hired. So now what? What’s the right thing to do? Keep your hat in the ring and hope that being not quite the right person is good enough for you because you really need the job, or walk away because you don’t want to be second best and KNOW it? If I got an offer today, I would not know if I was the first, second or even third choice. I don’t want to know, ever. I want to go to my next employer with a full heart thinking and feeling that I am the best fit.

And here comes the snow.

Being caretaker.

Bruno is adapting to his diet rather well. Almost too well. He seems to be satisfied with his new food and the amount he gets. I wonder how long that will last. I just want to get this "fixed" before he notices.

Morning walks at 6:30AM are increasingly dark as we approach the winter solstice. But I don’t feel uneasy because of the hour and the amount of people out and about. Last Saturday, Bruno and I took the Grove and Lynch Roads route going past a favorite Christmas tree vendor. Bruno sniffed a few trees and I made sure that he had poor aim, if you get what I mean. It put the Christmas spirit into my head so later that morning, Doc and I returned to the tree lot to get our fresh Christmas tree. It's the only live tree in our house - there are usually 15 others that are artificial. The lot owners are great people and we’ve bought our tree from them before. This time, he asked how our year had been and we told them about being unemployed for the second Christmas in row but that we remained positive about the future. He asked what I did for a living and I shared my business card. Marketing. He said that marketing was what was probably needed for his two businesses but that right now he was having a tough times and couldn’t afford it. We picked out a tree and a couple of bundles of boughs and he said, “$25 for the tree; the boughs are free because you’re unemployed.” We argued that it was in our budget but he insisted. I’m going to go back next week to see what I can do to help him get more business without spending a lot of money, or any at all. He paid it forward and I'm sure there is something I can do for him. In fact, I have a couple of ideas already.

Yesterday was a day of taking care of others. Part of my morning was spent conducting a workshop teaching other unemployed professionals how to complete a good professional summary and then from it, writing a short bio. For most people, the hardest part of the process is identifying special skills. We’re taught as children to be humble and not to brag. It’s not a lack of confidence about what we can do because in any given situation, if someone has a particular strength for a needed task, they generally jump in and do it. But to talk about, in a bio or cover letter, can be very hard. I shared some of the dozen or so bios that I helped people create. I have their permission to share them and I’m glad for that – it shows that my workshop with them paid off. They feel the bio accurately reflects them and should be shared. My class yesterday knew some of these folks and they agreed about the accuracy of the bios. Now I’m eager to help this new class capture their strengths. I love that "Aha!" moment.

Later that afternoon, I took Doc to a doctor appointment. Sigh. A hernia that had been repaired 30 years ago is back. That means more surgery. Now is not a good time for a lot of reasons. Everyone agreed that he could wait until the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, except, of course, if an emergency occurs. He's already met his health insurance deductible (he has his own coverage, separate from mine) so at least our financial exposure is limited but it still means he has exposure to the risk of surgery. He’s had several abdominal surgeries in the last four years and I worry how this one will impact his digestive tract. We’ve adapted pretty well to his food issues and are thankful that we can “figure it out.” I wonder if this will change what food he can enjoy – we love food! We’ll see.

In the evening, I spent a good hour with Laura on the phone. She is tying up loose ends with her former employer and getting her resume in shape. She sounded pretty good on the phone and yet I could still hear the pain. Not so much for losing her job but more about the effort finding a new one will be. A career search is a full-time, plus overtime, job. The thought of it never goes away. Weekends are just short work weeks. There are no breaks from the career search and networking. Speaking of networks, a big “Thank you,” to Josh and Pete from my CCN group (and any of you who have contacted her directly) for reaching out to Laura with job opportunities and including her in your own network. She is very appreciative of your kindness. I can’t believe what great people I’ve met during this time and I am so very glad that you’re part of my new life.

Ack! Lose 20 pounds! That’s what Bruno's vet said yesterday. His back issues are because we’ve (no, me’ve) let him gain 20 pounds since we adopted him two years ago. Sigh. OK, I can do this diet with him. I’ve needed an extra kick in the butt and now I have it. Poor poochie. Wait. That’s the kind of thinking that got me…us…into this condition. No more! Foodies unite...lose the weight! This morning, Mr. B and I took an extra long (60 minute) walk. Well, it was actually a saunter. Didn’t burn any calories but we were upright and moving. All good!

It’s Thanksgiving Day and I made it through the Macy’s parade to the Smurfs. At that point, I knew Santa was only 30 minute away and the tears started. What is wrong with me? Bill says nothing; that it’s because I’m such a sentimentalist. True. Still, why do I cry? Thanksgiving holds such wonderful memories. My parents traded hosting the event with my father’s sister and her family. They lived in Green Bay just houses away from Bart Starr. Yes, as kids in the 70s we would walk down the street on turkey day to see if Bart was home. That is, of course, if the Packers weren’t playing. We always hoped we’d get the chance to chat with “the man.” Sometimes we did. Sometimes we spoke with Cherry, his wife. Memories.

I have much to be thankful for. My health. My marriage. My mother’s and mother-in-law’s health. My husband’s nephew arriving home from Germany today (in the military)! A roof over our heads. The unconditional love of Bruno and Lily. The warmth of natural gas. The electricity for my laptop. The get-up-and-go of my car. The clothes on my back (and front, thank you very much). The hugs I receive on a daily basis from friends. The realization that this will end in its own time, not mine. The change of seasons. The smell of dinner in the oven. The sound of the Packers winning (3rd quarter). The contentment of life and being alive. The friendship of new friends. The support from old friends. The knowing that I am a good person with good intentions and without my own personal agenda. The looking forward to Christmas because now that Thanksgiving had actually happened, the Father Christmas suit and bells need polishing and preparing for our first event. We’re ready…I think.

Happy Thanksgiving. Be happy in who you are, today. It can be, and should be, your foundation for tomorrow.

Now I really don’t know my dog. The last several days he slept in until 6:50am. No whining in the middle of the night to get up to piddle, no 5am whining to get on with our walk. Those of you who have or have had children tell me you’ve been there, done that. I don't have any children. I have a dog. When we brought Bruno home, I told Doc to treat him like a three- or four-year old. Basset hounds throw tantrums, whine and complain, talk back, and hold their ground just like a toddler. Tantrums are pretty funny. But lately, he’s subdued and he’s had difficulty with steps and furniture – yes, I allow my pets on the sofa. I don’t know what’s wrong and I’m trying not to worry. We’re going to the vet on Wednesday (regular maintenance of glands and nails) so we’ll get him all checked out. I want to do the best for the pets I’ve committed to bringing into my family but now cost becomes a bigger factor than ever. It’s hard not to feel guilty asking how much health care of an animal is in order to make a decision of what to do next.

Last week my husband found the article below. It encapsulated some of what I and others have experienced. Not sure if I agree with the 13 interviews statement, unless he was counting each person in a panel who may have interviewed him as separate interviews. That would bring one of my interview counts to nine on one day at one company – three panels of three.

A long wait for job offers
Friday, November 13, 2009
The Week magazine
With an average of six job seekers now competing for every opening, employers have the luxury of putting candidates through the wringer, said Diane Stafford in The Kansas City Star. “And, boy, is that frustrating the applicants,” who at every turn are subjected to blood tests, drug tests, and personality tests—often in vain. Gordon Bonnes, who works in the apparel industry, recently endured a drawn-out job search only to narrowly miss getting the position. He says you can’t blame a company for trying to find the right fit. “But 13 interviews may have been overboard.”

The best way to get past those barriers may be to find a back door, said Phyllis Korkki in The New York Times. “A lot of people don’t like to hear it, but it comes down to networking.” If you don’t have any connection to the company, there’s a good chance that you’ll jump through a lot of hoops for nothing. If you know someone on the inside, however, hiring managers may be willing to cut you a little slack—provided, of course, you can convey “what a witty, personable, flexible, cooperative, and hardworking employee you will be.”

It’s hard to keep feelings, specifically frustration, at bay during the hiring process when the competition is so intense and so well qualified. I just want to know where I stand so I can concentrate my energies on opportunities that are really interested in me and it’s up to me to ace it or blow it. When I was a hiring manager, I tried to push things along if not only to satisfy my own needs but to be sensitive to the people waiting for me to make a decision. This article has a cynical tone to it. I choose to think that most HR and hiring managers are conducting their process with more sensitivity and prudence than this implies. Even after 14 months.

We no longer need your services.

Bruno has had a tough week. It started with pain in his back that prevented him from doing even one step. He could walk just fine but going up steps was next to impossible. The strange part was that he could go down them. Doing his business outside presented a problem at 2am one night. He just couldn’t manage the two small steps. I had to put my coat on over my PJs and find something in the garage that would make a ramp. It took 30 minutes to get him inside and he was exhausted. So was I. But today he’s back to himself and we took a long walk on River Drive. It’s a great little neighborhood and he loves all the different smells. Right now Bruno is having his after breakfast nap on the couch.

Thursday night I received a call from a dear friend who had just been fired. “We no longer need your services,” they told her. There had been a few bumps in the road but from my perspective, nothing that would cause the organization to ask her to resign and when she refused, fire her. That’s from my perspective. I’m not sure anyone shares all the gory details about work even with close friends. It just isn’t done.

Laura cried. My heart sank because I knew very well what she was feeling and what she was going to feel over the course of this. It was why she called me and not her parents first. She was driving home and I asked her if she felt OK to drive; she could call me after getting out of her car. She said that she was OK. I knew she wasn’t but I didn’t want to abandon her. I asked Laura if she had all of the physical pain, too. She did. It's like that first puppy-love break up. It feels like your stomach being tied into a knot. And if you touch your skin, it feels like it has been burned and blistered. Every nerve is standing straight up and it’s strange that even the lightest touch is so very painful. The intense skin and muscle pain only lasts a few hours at most but it can return when you get into the deep sadness, almost depressive stage. The first stage, shock or disbelief, affects your emotions and physical being equally. Once she had gotten the whole story out, she was ready to get off the phone with me and call mom and dad. I was the rehearsal.

I chatted online with Laura early yesterday morning and she had gotten to the numb stage overnight. That’s good. It meant that she wouldn’t be in the grieving stage very long. She had already made plans to move out of her apartment and go back home. Her parents were being very supportive. This was Laura’s first real job out of college and her concern was her pride. She hates the idea of going back home and taking a temp job that her mom could get for her. Laura had had a temp position at her mom’s employer before taking this now defunct opportunity. It helped her pay for college and her master’s degree. I reminded her that they loved her there and she needed to feel wanted and appreciated and to be working. Being part of a contributing community is the one thing you miss most when you’re unemployed. She’s going to think about it.

I got the call from Laura’s firing squad last night. Laura had asked Doc and I to appear as Father Christmas and Mrs. Claus. Now that Laura was no longer with them, I was told, “We no longer need your services.” It was a relatively short conversation but I kept it professional and asked what publicity had been done. None, really, I was told. I explained my concern that their decision to pull the cord would look like our failure to show up. I was assured that that would not happen.

And so, Father Christmas and his wife will appear in Appleton at the Thompson Center’s Breakfast with Santa on December 5th. Hundreds of children and their families get the opportunity to meet with Santa in a private room away from the screams and squeals that the excitement of seeing Santa creates. It lifts my spirit and gives me hope for our future just thinking about it. It’s our fourth year and we wouldn’t miss it for the world. Our services are needed here.

Follow up and wait

Our walk Friday morning was a memorable one. I had an in-person interview and needed to get my day going early. We trotted down Verbrick to Adams and turned left. As we did, I looked to the sky to witness something I’d never considered before. In the East, the rose, and scarlet, and oranges painted the sky. In the West, I discovered the lavender, and blue, and turquoise slipping away and it looked just like “the blue hour.” At the end of each day, Doc calls that last bit of light before darkness takes hold the blue hour. He says that the blue hour chases the sun to its next destination. But now it was the sun chasing this blue hour. Almost as if the day was reversing itself. I thought about that for quite a while.

The interview that day went very well for me. I really enjoyed learning about the details that you only get in an interview and meeting the team I would work with via video conference. I’ve conducted video conferences in a sales setting but not in an interview so this wasn’t unnerving. That was good. I remember my first video conference. I was so nervous and the technology was new. I wasn’t confident then, but I was on Friday. I felt so relaxed and it felt good. My answers flowed and, again, it felt good. I’m so ready to get back into the workplace, I can taste it! I miss the dynamics of being on a team, being accountable to someone other than myself and my husband, and being a contributor. But, I was the first one to interview, there are nine more and I won’t know anything more until closer to Thanksgiving. Time to follow up and wait.

Saturday I worked on Mrs. Claus’ new bodice. Doc and I play Santa and Mrs. Claus, respectively, for several children’s events. Our interpretation is 19th century so it’s really Father Christmas and his wife. To get into the mood to sew dark green velvet, I warmed a Yankee Candle tart called “Christmas Eve.” It has a lovely spicy scent with notes of evergreen. At a certain point, I needed Doc’s opinion about the trim I would use so I called him into the room. We narrowed the plethora of choice down to something manageable and off he went. The next thing I knew, Doc was in the attic getting out the Christmas cards and his notes from last year’s holiday. An hour later he was near manic when I asked what the rush was on Christmas details. I mean, Thanksgiving is still 10 days away. And that’s when it hit me….the tart! Anyone in marketing and advertising knows the power of stimulating the senses and the sense of smell is one of the most influential. I warmed the tart to put me in the mood and didn’t think about what it would do to him. It sure did a number on him and we had a good laugh over it.

Today I had another in-person interview. Again, I feel really good about how it went. Like the interview on Friday, this is a new position and it’s important for the company to get the right person in place. As I look back at my past employment, there’s only one that wasn’t a new or dramatically changed position. I seem to gravitate to new opportunities. I’ll have to think about that. If you’re wondering which one I would take if I were offered both (several people have asked), I say, “How fortunate to have that dilemma.” So while I wait, in my follow up I’ll create the case for both of these employers to see me as the perfect fit and at the same time, continue the search, and do my homework.

Angry belly

If you’ve ever seen the movie “Alien” with Sigourney Weaver, you know exactly what an angry belly looks like. Bruno had the sound version at 4am today. And it was cursing in a language I’d never heard before. Why? Who knows? He hadn’t been to doggie daycare. He had eaten all of his dinner the night before. He hadn’t shown any signs of illness before bedtime. He had gone to bed and to sleep as usual. So when I first woke up to the sounds from his belly, I thought it was our cat, Lily, hunting down a mouse or perhaps, killing it slowly. Cats do that. But this yowling sounded more extraterrestrial and it was coming from my side of the bed. So as the cursing became louder and more frequent, at 5am I finally asked Bruno if he would like his walk now instead of 6:30am. With a very green, “Yes,” Bruno extricated himself from the warmth of his bed on the floor and slowly shuffled to the back door. Once we were both dressed (Bruno goes to bed naked – without a collar – and getting dressed means to putting his collar on), we set out into the pre-dawn darkness.

I’ve mentioned before that walking in the early morning darkness isn’t my favorite thing in the world. The streetlights were on, which helped. I decided to stick to Memorial Drive and head toward Bruno’s favorite spot…the gas station/convenience store. So many smells. So little time. I thought this route would keep me comfortable and perk him up. It did both. We got home just before 6am as the first few streaks of sun stretched across the sky. Bruno was happy to be home but his belly was still angry. He climbed into his favorite chair in the library next to the fireplace, without having breakfast. I turned the gas fireplace on to warm the room and heard his heavy sigh. Even though angry belly was still pitching a fit, the rest of my Bruno was ready to have his early morning nap.

I didn’t go back to bed. My day needed to get started. I had an 8am meeting to attend. I wish I could say that it was an interview but it wasn’t. It was a meeting of Lean Consortium NEW. This group was formed by participants of the Lean Lead Facilitator certification class. In August, Workforce Development found funding to offer the class. All we had to do was qualify for funding from WIA, Wisconsin Investment Act, and be unemployed and our tuition for this 120 hour, intense 3 week course was paid in full. I qualified. Becoming Lean certified is a big deal. It has helped several of my classmates become employed and it perked interest in me by more employers. I’ll explain more about Lean in another post. I want to get to what happened at our meeting.

I was in the charter group and we welcomed a second graduating class about a month ago. The melded group is very large now – more than 30 people – and is about to grow larger as we decided to extend an invitation to join to the third graduating class. Recently, we’ve experienced, well, let’s call it growing pains. There is a tremendous amount of talent in the group, all of whom are eager to find a new career and equally eager to gain experience using the new skills gained in the class. When the group grew, the pains increased. At our last meeting two weeks ago (my first with the newly formed, bigger group), I experienced a discomfort that I couldn’t ignore and I think I knew why. I’ve been unemployed for longer than most people in the group and I’ve been through the complete and deluxe cycle of grief over the loss of my job. I see pain on the faces of some of my classmates that’s hard to define but easy to see. Everyone in the group is at a different phase of grief. As we proceeded through today’s agenda and dynamics, I found it time to point out that we all have hot buttons that are easy to push and we don’t always know which ones they are until someone touches it. It’s like going to the dentist with a toothache. Until that metal probe touches the spot, it’s hard to know exactly where the pain is. Except, some of the folks don’t even know they have a toothache, but when that probe finds the spot… OUCH!

I hurt for them. It took me a few months to get a grip on my situation and decide how I wanted to go forward. I can’t fix it for them but I can try lead by example and show them that this isn’t fatal, there isn’t a gallon of blood. By self-assessing on a regular basis, you stay in touch with the phase you’re in and are able to manage it rather than it managing you. I consider myself “self-employed” and my business is that of selling myself and my brand. Who wants to buy emotionally damaged or worse, self-destructive goods? No one. My customers want confidence, talent, collaboration and focus. They don’t want baggage.

Every night before I go to sleep, I self-assess: have I used my day as productively and positively as I can? Am I in a good place, a healthy state of mind? Have I controlled what I can and put the rest into God’s hands? I do it because I want to help myself and I want to help those who need it, get through this process. It helps to keep me from waking up with my own angry belly.

Is there more pizza in my future?

The schedule has gone out the window. I don’t know this dog anymore. The past couple of days I’ve gotten up with him between 4:30 and 5:30am to let him out. After Bruno does his business, he goes back to bed until close to 8am. I don’t get it. The time change was last week and now my routine is messed up. Our walk didn’t take place until after 9am. I’ve got things to do, Bruno. It’s not all about you....well, I guess it really is.

I thought Friday was over when I last blogged but it wasn’t. Several weeks ago I had a phone screen for a green energy company in Manitowoc. They are looking for the right fit and the marketing position will be designed around that person’s talents. I did my best, sent my follow up and went on to other opportunities. You know, gotta keep moving forward yet spinning the plate every so often. In the afternoon, while I was out, a message was left. The VP of Sales and Marketing wants to meet face-to-face. Hot dog! The meeting was scheduled for this morning but late yesterday an emergency required my interview to be postponed to next Tuesday. More waiting, but I’m happy to wait on a good opportunity.

The weekend was delightful – warm and sunny; the last of summer slipping slowly away. Doc and I had houseguests from Lake Geneva Saturday night. By the time they left on Sunday, we were tired out. But it was a good tired.

Monday brought another opportunity for a face-to-face interview, well, mostly face-to-face (part of this one will be done by video-conferencing – very cool) scheduled for Friday of this week. That’s 2! Count 'em, 2 in-person interviews! I haven’t been able to score an in-person interview since late July. And now I have 2! Can you tell I’m very happy? To celebrate, we had pizza delivered. This is such a treat because two pizzas from delievered Pizza Hut costs $25, after a coupon and with a small tip for the driver. We always have leftovers (good for the next day or two) but to us it’s extravagant, nonetheless. Making it better, it was delivered by Thompson, one of the regular delivery guys we would get until we stopped having pizza delivered last Spring. He’s a really good guy who always has a positive attitude and a kind word. This time, he was happy about the for sale sign in the yard. Thompson knew I was unemployed so he thought we were celebrating a new job. It was so hard to tell him that wasn’t the case. He felt so bad. I didn’t want him to going away less than his usual self so I told him about the upcoming interviews. It helped. He wished me luck and hoped he would see us again soon. I do, too.

Better

Bruno had a really good walk today. We made our way down Memorial Drive to Riverview Lane and back. A quiet, and somewhat private street, Riverview Lane borders an older, public golf course. The houses here are modest but tidy and well kept. There was lots to sniff. Leaves had been raked into the street and the last blooms of summer were emptied on top. Bruno likes to get his nose into the middle of the pile and plow. Plow hound. But he never remembers that there is curbing in there and either he crashes into the curb or falls off it, deeper into the leaves. I chuckle to myself but sometimes I know it’s gotta hurt, poor pooch.

Leaves. We have two huge, very old maple trees in the front yard that dropped their leaves earlier this week. It’s a daunting task to rake them into the street and it takes a great deal of motivation to even get started. A quick side note: in June when we had the trees cleaned out of dead wood we learned that we have three families of flying squirrels (Rocky, of “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show”) living in our trees. I felt so bad watching them scurry looking for new homes in the tree but the crew assured me that they'd be safe and sound by nightfall. Back to the leaves. On Tuesday afternoon, the doorbell rang and there stood a Hispanic man. He explained, in very broken English, that he was our newspaper delivery man (yes, we still get the paper a couple of days a week – for the comics and grocery coupons, Doc says). He went on to offer to rake our leaves for whatever I wanted to pay him. I didn’t know what to say except to thank him for the offer but that I couldn’t afford to do that. He insisted that he would do the work for any amount of money and my heart sank. I knew that if I gave $10 or $20, all I could afford, he would have been very happy but I couldn’t do it. The amount of work this job takes (took Doc and I working together 2 hours) is worth so much more. I felt that I would be insulting him or at the least, taking advantage of his situation. So I told him that my husband and I were both out of work and that we had to do it ourselves. I’ll never forget the instant look of compassion that washed over his face. He was sad for us and said, “I’m sorry.” He turned and left. Today I left him $10 in an envelope right where he places the newspaper every day with a note saying thank you for great service. I feel better.

My phone screen on Wednesday went well but they’re going to take their time “to get the right fit. If it takes until after the first of the New Year, then that’s what it's going to take," she said. She went on to say that the current holder of the position was stepping down, not leaving. The woman had just given birth to her second child and wanted more time with the family. Since she wasn't leaving, the bank could afford to take their time. She told me how lucky they were to have so many qualified candidates apply not once, but twice. A firm reminder of our times. I haven’t sent my thank you note yet because I’m still mulling over a statement. I’d like to tell her that if I’m not the right fit to please choose someone else who is unemployed. I know there are people who have good jobs or even OK jobs who have applied for this position in order to get a better job or to move up the corporate ladder. That will always happen. In the best of times, when I have been the hiring manager, conventional wisdom said to hire the person with the job. But times are not conventional. I want to tell every hiring manager and HR professional, “If all things are equal or even close, hire the unemployed person!” You’ll get a humble, grateful worker who will appreciate the littlest things and work hard to bring the greatest value to your company. I’ve heard this statement from so many of my peers, unemployed and those recently employed. It’s true. Very true. The unemployed are learning lessons that the employed will never learn. Our lives and those of our families have been changed forever, for the better.

Happy and sad.

How well have you adjusted to the time change? Personally, I don’t mind it. It’s Bruno who can’t seem to adjust his eating and sleeping patterns. I do like the fact that we walk in daylight again at least for a few more weeks. It’s creepy being out so early but I know my big, “ferocious” dog will scare the pants off any would-be offender. One bark out of that hound and you’d likely jump out of your skin!

The last few mornings have been absolutely peaceful and perfectly crisp for our jaunt. This morning we went over to the Gardner Row triangle. It’s nothing like the Bermuda triangle. It has lots of unfamiliar smells because we don’t walk there often and I don’t have an explanation for that.

This week I’ve been able to celebrate a few people finally getting their offer. Judy, who provided me with contacts at EAA and The Kohler Co. got hers. A good job that won’t start until Dec. 7 and she seems pretty darned excited about it. I’m so glad for her. And, I heard from a fellow CCN member who got an offer from a company out in Virginia. A long way to go but I’d gladly do it for the right company and the right position. Every time I get an email, a phone call or hear it in a CCN meeting, I am genuinely relieved and happy for them. It’s one less person I worry about and it’s one job closer to my own success.

For the last week I’ve been waiting on pins and needles about the job that resurfaced from last December. The recruiter presented my resume again and hasn’t heard anything. I hope and I pray that this will be the one. In the meantime, I’m preparing for a brief phone interview tomorrow morning. It’s with First Bank Financial Centre in Oconomowoc. I did my research, looked at their information online (you know, history, the “about us” page, community involvement, etc.) and feel pretty comfortable with them. I haven’t been able to find any contacts there but I’m hopeful that I can shine on the phone to get myself invited to visit in person.

There was also the let down from the Appleton job – Fox Valley Technical College. It seems they hired from inside. While I appreciate that they promote from within, it’s so hard to hear it as an outsider. And I know that if there is an opening created as the result of this promotion, it’s likely to be a lower level position than I’d be considered for.

I just keep moving forward in the most positive means that I can. Sorry, dear husband, about the melt-down last night. I really dislike feeling and being sad but I know it’s part of the process. I’m just glad I don’t ever seem to be stuck in sad for very long. The thanks for that goes to all of you. Without your support and encouragement, I don’t think I could keep going.

Sleepless Nights – Not Always a Bad Thing

I meant for this to be posted yesterday but so much has happened that I’ve been distracted. Bad blogger! Yesterday was one of the most spectacular days for a morning walk with Bruno. He loves to shuffle through the leaves. When you have 4 inch legs, shuffling is about all you can do, really, so when there are leaves to trudge through, they tickle your belly and put a funny spring in your step. Both days we’ve been able to take particularly long walks which makes for a very sleepy basset the rest of the day. Ahhhh, the sound of a sleeping hound.

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to chat online with friends Doc (my husband, Bill – see, I told you that you’d get to know him as Doc) and I recently re-connected with. When we last moved, we lost touch with quite a few people. Bob and Robin (or Bobin for short) were in that group. They love re-enacting and Halloween so we had lots in common. Through Facebook, Bob tracked us down a couple months ago. It was so wonderful to catch up on Saturday when we were both a bit bored and appreciated the company.

Since we’ve reconnected, I’ve been watching Bob’s FB posts. Bobin generally have a difficult, but very happy together, life and it seems this year has been especially tough. In the past, Bob has managed FrightFest at Six Flags Great America, a gig kept them afloat pretty well for an entire year. Since he lost that position a while ago, he’s tried to find other work and has had on and off periods. Robin has worked in the past at a Subway sandwich shop that’s close enough for her to walk to (she doesn’t drive) but it sounds like that job is over, too. Anyway, late this summer, they had the electricity shut off, have been trying to qualify for utility and food assistance but it’s been really tough to get it – too many people ahead of them in line. So, Doc and I told them that even though we’re far from rich, we’re going to take them to dinner at a reasonably nice restaurant on our next trip to LG (probably November). It will be a treat for us but we know they really need it more. I can’t imagine having the difficulty they have and so we will try to make their life a little better. Pay it forward, if you will.

After that chat, I had trouble sleeping on Saturday and then again on Sunday. I kept thinking about where we are in our “plan.” This plan has specific dates and tasks that MUST be accomplished in order for the money we have left to sustain us as long as possible. It’s very freeing to have made decisions when you’re not deep in the emotion of them! As the days tick by and no job offer comes of the many calls I seem to be getting lately, life still weighs on my mind and I wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning in a pseudo panic attack. I get myself back into my happy place and go back to sleep sometime before 5 o’clock and I hate that I can’t control this behavior. Probably never will.

That isn’t the only reason I have sleepless nights. Monday, as I checked email for the last time, I saw a LinkedIn post by one of my connections. He’s a recruiter looking to fill a marketing position. Hot dog! I looked at the full post and realized this was a job I interviewed for in December 2008. After that interview, I felt there wasn’t a good fit, it required a pretty healthy move and since it was still quite early in my search, I decided it was best to let this one go. But I’m part sleuth and decided to do some research about why this really great position was open again. Through my network I learned what I needed to know and I became very excited about the possibilities! I sent an email to the recruiter and a sleepless night ensued. My mind kept racing about what I could bring to this employer and their needs and, oh my goodness, I felt valuable! It was such a great feeling that I didn’t care that I was losing sleep.

That was Monday night. Yesterday, my hopes were dashed because it seemed that my network didn’t have all the critical-to-me information quite right so that opportunity was dead. The rollercoaster strikes again! I picked myself up, put on my devil horns (really, I wore horns), and went to my Tuesday CCN meeting. I gave everyone a laugh and even though I was really hurting inside, I felt so good giving everyone a moment (OK, two hours) of giggles. I can be such a dork and my husband encourages me.

I know this post is long but it’s not over. I got home from the meeting and there, in my email, was a message from the recruiter. Things had indeed changed at this company and would I like to throw my hat back into the ring? Heck yes! So, another sleepless night.

The Ups and The Downs

Another wet and soggy day means no morning walk for the big boy. He’d rather hold it for life than get wet. I have to admit, though, I’ve enjoyed being able to stay dry myself. Not to worry. I watch for breaks in the rain and drag Bruno out so he doesn’t explode.

What a roller coaster week in the career search! Yesterday I had three phone calls for preliminary interviews (phone screens) and two follow up emails that were let downs. I think that while one phone screen went well, I don’t think I’ll get selected to move on in the process. The company, located about 50 miles from Appleton, found my resume posted at CareerBuilder. The VP of Sales has decided to add to the marketing department but she doesn’t know what qualifications they want to hire yet. This company doesn’t have job descriptions, which is unique. They’d rather stay flexible, which is cool. My concern isn’t that new things get added to your plate (happens all the time in marketing - if it doesn't fit into any other area, it MUST be marketing - ha!) but how do you know what is in scope and what is out of scope? As a very creative person, I know I can come up with all kinds of duties to fit into my box but without some sort of boundary, I could over commit and burn myself out. Still, it was a good conversation, the SVP of HR seemed interested in my department and office start-up background and I was given permission to follow up late next week.

I sent a follow up email to FVTC yesterday. They’re searching for a marketing communications manager but had a few internal candidates to consider first. I'm happy to know that they would promote someone qualified but it’s hard to deal with as an external candidate. I’ve now had at least three people put in a good word for me there but I think I might be fighting a very uphill battle. I’ve now seen this position posted at an Internet job board so that means they’re paying for a listing to get more candidates. Another hard thing to deal with because that's more competition. Sometimes I just want to yell, “What about me? I’m right here in your backyard!” Guess it’s time for a phone call on Monday to nudge HR, but no yelling. I promise.

One of the phone screens with a recruiter was really excited about my background but because the search she was working was so confidential, she couldn’t tell me much about the company. All I know is that it opened the first part of this year, it’s a financial services firm (pretty broad), and there is a person in the marketing role now. I don’t know what will happen to that person – she wouldn’t comment. She wanted to get me connected with the president for a real phone interview this week but it hasn’t happened. And, because she ended the call abruptly (we went too long and she had another call on hold), I didn’t get her email address or phone number. I do have the agency’s information so I’ll have to track her down. It’s a wonderful opportunity to start up a department and help a new company grow. I like that kind of work! One thing I didn’t mention…the job is in the Washington DC area. Yes, I know, a long distance move but I have to say, both Bill and I would really welcome the opportunity to be in the birthplace of our nation. We so love American history, particularly the 19th century, that this would be an opportunity to personally immerse ourselves in it. We also love to volunteer at these kinds of museums – no shortage of those in Virginia-Maryland!

Moving. So many unemployed people think about moving as a curse or a burden. Yes, in some respects it's both. Sorting through your memories isn’t easy and harder still is selecting which things stay with you and which go to the garage sale boxes. But I choose to look at this positively. We moved to Appleton because of a job and now we’ll likely move away from here mostly likely because of the lack of a job. In six years there have been many memories created. So many good times, new friends and acquaintances, shopping, restaurants, things we had to travel two hours to Chicago to get to before. My hope is that when our move is eminent, I have a good career opportunity that will give me fulfillment and that my husband can feel good about. I’ve backed away from several opportunities (didn’t turn down any offers, just decided not to pursue them) because they had all the trappings of disaster. I’d have to be moving into a cardboard box before I put myself into a nightmare with misery attached. One time, very early in my life I took a job that the little voice inside me said, “Run screaming!” I should have listened but I stuck it out three years. We have our health and we have each other. If that’s all I have, I can be happy for a very, very long time.

A valley in life.

Oh what a wonderful respite I had from the career search (and dog walking – LOL)! Saturday Bill and I traveled to Lake Geneva to spend the weekend with his friends, now mine, from high school days. We’ve seen each other very irregularly over the last 11 years and somehow it always seems like we just saw them the other day. Bruno got to spend time at Tailwaggers Doggy Daycare in Menasha. To say he loves it there is an understatement. We pulled into the parking lot and the howling begins. By the time we get Bruno into the front lobby, he’s pulling at the leash to get on with the playtime. It’s so funny!

Our weekend included a two hour walk around just over three miles of Geneva Lake – a Northern section of the famed “Walk, Talk, and Gawk” self-guided tour. The homes along this stretch of the lake are as magnificent as the rest of the lake but the walking path is much smoother and easier to traverse. We ended the walk in Williams Bay and our friends Ed and Julie had chartered one of the private yachts to take us back to Lake Geneva. Quick lesson: the city is called Lake Geneva, the lake is called Geneva Lake. Go figure. It was a chilly boat ride at sunset but so much fun. That night we had a wonderful dinner at Ed and Julie’s with several others who were also on the walk and boat ride, and we were lucky enough to spend the night at Ed and Julie’s. Sunday was highlighted with Champagne Brunch at The Abbey Resort. Goodness! What a spectacular get-away!

Now it’s back to the search. I’ve had several phone interviews this week and one scheduled for tomorrow morning. Some of the completed interviews have already screened me out but that’s OK as long as I have opportunities in the pipeline. One opening that Judy sent yesterday is really a dream job for me at the Kohler Company in Kohler – Creative Brand Strategist. Oh my goodness it just speaks to my professional soul. My cover letter needs to overcome my lack of home interior product design experience but I’ve designed classrooms and I think I can make a solid case. They’re looking for international experience and I have that. They want experience integrating brand and communications – got it, and they want a big-picture thinker – that’s me! I’m so very appreciative of Judy emailing the posting to me. I would have missed it because of how they have it posted.

But I’m concerned about Judy and now Sue (I haven’t formally met Sue yet but I know her parents). Both of these women are unemployed as I am. Sue is 60 and lost her job earlier this year. She’s not ready for retirement but at 60 I can imagine the uphill battle she is facing. She had to move in with her parents a few weeks ago in order to survive. Her father, Rich, was telling me Monday night how she spends so much time on the Internet searching for openings and how hard it is to watch one of his children struggle so. I asked Rich if Sue was involved with Career Changers Network, CCN, (love you guys!) and he didn’t think so. I also asked if she knew about other support networks and Web sites that are truly helpful. He didn’t know so I offered to help. I have a great deal of experience searching for a job (hahaha) and feel like an expert who should share. I also offered to get her connected with CCN and Workforce Development.

Judy, though, knows about these avenues and leverages them. She attended the same Lean training I did (it’s how we met) but it was her email yesterday that hit me. She described her situation as a valley in her life and even though there weren’t any specific words about it, I could feel the pain she is experiencing at this moment. She’s been unemployed for five months and she doesn’t want to chase after just any job at just any company. Accepting that you can be unemployed for a longer period of time than you really want is so hard. One of the worst things you can do is get yourself employed in a job you hate or with a company that isn’t a reasonably good fit. The temptation is to put an end to the current misery and loss of income but what you could end up doing is making yourself, and your family, even more miserable.

If you know someone who has been in this valley of life more than a couple of months, reach out to them on a regular basis. Ask how they are. Ask if there is anything you can do for them, anything. You can’t imagine how the littlest of gestures make the biggest impression. And, don’t ignore our plight. It doesn’t go away if you don’t talk about it. Yes, it can be uncomfortable to hear us complain or be sad but it’s equally uncomfortable for us to hear about your bad day that earned you a paycheck. I promise, on behalf of my unemployed colleagues, that we’ll listen to you if you listen to us.

Opportunities abound!

Crisp and fresh air this morning for our walk. Bruno loves to shuffle through the leaves and looks for long grass to waddle through to tickle his belly. The simple pleasures that this wonderful hound enjoys has taught me how to appreciate what I have and be able to live in the moment. The future will take care of itself. We did the “Reverse Bank” route and added a walk through “The Meadow.” It entails crossing Memorial Drive up Verbrick one block, right on Bouten, cut through Anchor Bank’s parking lot and then instead of turning for home, Bruno wanted to cross Memorial Drive to the Meadow. The Meadow is what’s left of The Hob Nobbin’ Restaurant – just a meadow. We shuffled through the leaves to the back of the Meadow and that connects to the back of #130 or as Bruno knows it, Uncle Rodger’s. Uncle Rodger’s belongs to friends who let us cut through their yard on the way back to our house, #9.

Yesterday had an exciting end to it! Around 2pm in the afternoon, I found a LinkedIn job post that seemed like a great fit for me. I sent my resume and cover letter to the recruiter and within 30 minutes, I had a phone call to screen me. Several calls later to further screen me and be sure I was interested in a move to Newark, New Jersey (we are!), and my resume was being presented to the hiring manager. Woo hoo! Then, at 3:30pm, another call. Could I detail my experience on 4 or 5 points in writing so that if challenged, the recruiter could speak on my behalf, and send to him within 15 or 20 minutes? OK, I can do that, I told him. And so I set about writing the reasons why I could do the job better than anyone else. It took me 40 minutes and I felt bad that I couldn’t do it in 20. I sent off my writings with a note that I would continue to write and send an updated version for him before the end of the day – he’s an hour ahead so my update would be in his inbox first thing this morning. I did the update, sent it, and now I wait. Again.

This post is later today than most because I’ve been working on three opportunities at School Specialty in Greenville. My friend Kim, an employee there, sent them to me. They aren’t posted externally but she happened across them this morning and got permission from HR to send them to me. I worked a good part of the morning crafting the right cover letter. This is really exciting! To have advance notice before a position gets posted is a big deal. And, these positions may not get posted if there are internal candidates, or if I am the perfect fit for one of them, which, of course, I know I am! Any of you who have connections at School Specialty please, please, please, call them and tell them about me. It is so important to have people speak on my behalf. I promise, I’ll return the favor – just ask.

So my week closes on a very positive note. This is just what I needed because Bill and I are off to Lake Geneva tomorrow for a fun-filled day and night with former high school friends of Bill’s. I can’t imagine still having friends from senior year of high school. I mean, I still see them every five years at reunions but we don’t keep in touch like he’s been able to do. It also boosts my ego a bit. They’re all 10 years older than me so when they talk about high school and college times or the early 70s, I just say, “Oh, I was 8.”

My Career Search Champions

I wasn’t sure where to start this morning. My whole routine was changed by a dog that decided to sleep in (that means 7am) and then go for a one hour walk. What is up with that? I mean, it was 8am before we returned and that meant Miss Lily’s breakfast was late, Bill’s coffee was late, and checking the morning email was late. But, I must admit that it felt rather decadent to wake up 45 minutes later than usual.

I met my professor yesterday and was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief. I had been making too much of part of the assignment and the other part wasn’t properly explained and Lee was able to get me back on track and going again. Whew! Lee also shared a personal struggle with me. His 86 year-old mother was having health issues. For the last 10 days she had been hospitalized for an intestinal blockage and was being intravenously fed. Today she is having surgery. Lee seemed quite concerned and I wanted to give him a hug but I wasn't sure if he was looking for that from me. I told him I would pray for her quick recovery and his safe return back to the area (he had mentioned he was traveling) and left. I hope everything is going as expected and that she will be well again.

Early afternoon held good news. A friend, Grant, has been my champion since early this year. Every time he finds a career opportunity he either sends it by email or picks up the phone to call me. Yesterday one of his connections at LinkedIn posted an opening and he forwarded her information to me. It’s a really great opportunity so I called her. She wasn’t in but I did speak to her manager and then forwarded my resume. I should hear from her either today or tomorrow. Then Steve, a neighbor, sent two emails. One about a possible job in the area and the other offering to have a close friend put in a good word for me at the Appleton opportunity I wrote about yesterday. I’ve met Steve’s friend several times. He’s a good guy. Even though the Appleton organization is looking at internal candidates, it can’t hurt to have a third person say good things about me. Thank you to both of them for keeping me in mind and to everyone else who shares leads, contacts at companies, and general goodwill. I so appreciate it.

Rejection?

Rain. Not the most pleasant weather to walk in. Bruno doesn’t like getting those big paws wet but did he seem to enjoy our walk this morning. We did the “Reverse Seymour” route today. We crossed Memorial Drive and turned left to Seymour, then right on Seymour and this time, Bruno wanted to cross Bouten before we made our right turn onto it. Each side of the street smells different to him and this is about walking his nose, not his legs. So it was down Bouten to Verbrick, right on Verbrick and back to home. Breakfast was served and for the first time I noticed that Lily waits for me to change Bruno’s water bowl so she can drink from it. She has her own but his water must taste better. Another revelation was that when this little eight pound cat drinks, it sounds like the Fox River.

It was a hectic morning today. Bill had a dental appointment at 9am and I had mistakenly scheduled an appointment with my professor at Fox Valley Tech at 10am. This wasn’t going to work easily because we’re down to one car. If I hadn’t found a good job by July 1st, our plan was to sell both the convertible and the truck to get something more economical yet able to accommodate the dog or to haul things should we need to sell something or move. We did that on July 9th. It was a heartbreaking day but as I’ve already said, it’s just stuff. And we’ve grown to love the Toaster (a 2005 Scion xB for those who aren’t familiar with this cultish mode of transportation). Luckily I was able to change my appointment with my professor so Bill is off at his cleaning and I’ll get to my appointment with ease.

Yesterday was a typical job hunt roller coaster day. I finally heard from HR at an Appleton opportunity but the news wasn’t exciting. It’s a marketing communications manager position – a good one at a solid organization – but they’ve had internal candidates come forward that they’re going with talk to first. Not a rejection quite yet but disheartening nonetheless because internal candidates can be the kiss of death. The outright rejection came later in the day but I’m not sure if it really was a rejection. I’ll explain. At the end of August I found a really good opportunity with Travelers Insurance – you know, the red umbrella people. I sent some of you an email asking for contacts internally and thankfully I did receive replies. The day after I applied, I was put into an email screening process. When I successfully answered an email, I received another looking for more detail in a particular area. I passed the email screen and was to be scheduled for a phone interview. I waited. I followed up. Ten days later, I got an urgent email that needed to schedule the phone interview with a senior HR recruiter for the company. I answered quickly and two days later learned of the appointment day and time – another five day wait. The call came and went well. Within 25 minutes, the interviewer said that I needed to talk to the hiring manager and he’d get that scheduled quickly. I waited. I followed up. Eight days after the phone interview I was asked when I was available to talk with her. Another appointment was set for a 30 minute conversation. She called and it felt like it was going really well, and long, 50 minutes. At the end, I asked about the timeline. She was taking the rest of the quarter to find the right fit because this was a new position. OK, I get that. “How may I communicate with you going forward in the meantime,” I asked. “You’ll need to stay in touch with whomever you spoke with in HR. Thank you for your time and you’ll hear from us.” Not being able to get her email address or phone number is a sign. I tried to be hopeful but I wasn’t holding my breath. Yesterday it had been eight days since the interview so I followed up with my HR contact. Within a couple of hours, I had my rejection. Or, was it? Does it count when you know it’s probably coming?

On a lighter note, I am hopeful about opportunities, yes plural, with Humana Insurance in Louisville, Kentucky. I was screened by phone on Saturday and now I’m waiting to see if I’ve been selected to go on to a full interview. I should know by Friday. My screener was recommending that I go on to the next step but he didn’t have final decision power, someone else does. So I wait.

The Handyman

This morning’s walk was a crisp yet delightful experience. Bruno and I went out to Memorial Drive and turned right. At Calumet we turned left and then snuck through a yard to take Foster. At Bouten we turned left and then left again at Verbrick. Three more blocks and we were back home. We call this the “White House” route because on Foster there is a very nice Edwardian house painted white. It went up for sale in the spring and last month, new owners moved in. Its grand front porch is tastefully decorated for Halloween. And, we met the resident Scottie who didn’t seem to like Bruno very well but Bruno was more interested in sniffing the bunny trails left from early morning grass munching. He is a basset hound, after all.

My schedule today is focused on a handyman coming to do projects. There are some last minute things that need attention. I say last minute because our house was officially listed for sale on October 1 and all of this should have been completed by then. But they’re little things that will only take the day maybe a return trip to install a light switch or two that we haven’t bought because we don’t know what to get. Bill freely admits his forte is not handyman work and I only dabble with non-electrical things.

Our handyman has been unemployed since last December. Not quite as long as me but I think more devastating. We met him through the painter we hired in June to paint the trim on the house in case we really did have to sell the house in autumn. He was Bob’s assistant and coincidentally, is his cousin. Doc (funny, same nickname as my husband) worked in construction as a project manager and as the economy plummeted last year, the work in his field dried up. When he was here last week to assess what we needed done in order to get on his schedule, I learned that he had recently lost a vehicle to repossession and was turned down for a real job as a farm hand because of his credit rating after the repossession. I could hear the bitterness in his voice, see the pain in his eyes, and I felt the fear in myself. He couldn’t understand what cleaning stalls, feeding animals, and repairing a tractor had to do with his personal financial situation. I couldn’t either. I’m sure there are protective measures that are being taken by most employers but I would certainly hope that recent financial problems are overlooked. Lots of bad things are happening to good people.

Doc is an incredibly polite and professional man. He addresses me as “Ma’am,” uses please, may I, and thank you in his regular speech and presents himself so humbly that it makes me wonder why no one has hired this very talented man. Doc always asks me about my own job hunt. I give him the positives but only once, when October 1st came and we knew we had to stick to our plan to sell the house if I didn’t find work by our deadline, did I let my emotions show. The shock on his face hit me hard but I just reminded myself that this is not fatal. It’s only stuff.

And so it begins.

After one year of unemployment, it seems it's time to begin a blog. I don't know how many readers I'll have and I'm not going to worry about it. If you've never been unemployed by no choice of your own, I hope to give you an insight to what it's like, how the job search affects not only your life and that of your family but how it also affects friends, neighbors, and those you meet as life goes on. Please post your reactions to my comments or make a contribution that would benefit this new community. For those of you who have been forcibly unemployed, I especially encourage your comments and contributions.

Today, like most mornings, I woke up wondering what lies ahead and starting a blog wasn't even on the list. As my first five words of this blog state, it's been a year since I've gone into the office. It's strange to think that 378 days have gone by and I'm still doing the same thing each and every day. I wake up at 6:15am to the sound of Bruno (that's my basset hound; all 95 pounds of him) gently asking me to get up. He wants his walk and his breakfast. I get myself dressed and then get Bruno dressed. These days that means just his collar but he understands that when the collar is taken off late at night, it's bedtime and when we put it on in the morning, a new day has begun.

So we're off for a 30 to 45 minute walk. Today's route took us north on Memorial Drive, left on Ravinia, across Memorial Drive onto Seymour, one block to Bouten, right on Bouten, right onto Verbrick, back across Memorial Drive and then home. He loves this morning walk. It's our time together and it's good for both of us. Bruno heard all about what I planned to do this morning long before Bill (that's my husband - but most of you will know him as Doc) ever knows what's in the cards. Back inside, Bruno got a big drink of water and patiently waited for breakfast to be fixed. Not every morning is like today. Usually Bruno let's me know that he's hungry and I should hurry up. I'm never sure that he isn't stating this on behalf of Lily, the resident queen kitty, too.

By 7:30am everyone has breakfasted and I've started the coffee and my computer. While the coffee was brewing, I checked email. It's Monday so I'm a bit amused with myself - who on earth could have possibly contacted me about a job since last night, Sunday? No one, that's who. But being an enternal optimist and still having hope, I checked it. In these craziest of times, those of us chasing our tail, er, in a career pursuit, check email each and every day. Several times a day. Several times an hour. Because when that next possible employer taps you with an email and says, "I want to see/speak/email/communicate with you about an opportunity you responded to," you don't want to keep them waiting. They have many candidates to choose from and you've just been able to get their attention. That's big!

So far today, there hasn't been a new contact but it is Monday and it is early in the day. I do have several opportunities that I am very interested in; one of them would keep me in my home the others all require a move. I don't mind the thought of moving. It means change and right now, I kind of welcome change. I've always embraced it at work and in my personal life. Experts would say that too much change is difficult to handle and can cause serious depression, anxiety, etc. So can being unemployed. I say, too much of the same is harder.

Welcome to my blog.