Ack! Lose 20 pounds! That’s what Bruno's vet said yesterday. His back issues are because we’ve (no, me’ve) let him gain 20 pounds since we adopted him two years ago. Sigh. OK, I can do this diet with him. I’ve needed an extra kick in the butt and now I have it. Poor poochie. Wait. That’s the kind of thinking that got me…us…into this condition. No more! Foodies unite...lose the weight! This morning, Mr. B and I took an extra long (60 minute) walk. Well, it was actually a saunter. Didn’t burn any calories but we were upright and moving. All good!

It’s Thanksgiving Day and I made it through the Macy’s parade to the Smurfs. At that point, I knew Santa was only 30 minute away and the tears started. What is wrong with me? Bill says nothing; that it’s because I’m such a sentimentalist. True. Still, why do I cry? Thanksgiving holds such wonderful memories. My parents traded hosting the event with my father’s sister and her family. They lived in Green Bay just houses away from Bart Starr. Yes, as kids in the 70s we would walk down the street on turkey day to see if Bart was home. That is, of course, if the Packers weren’t playing. We always hoped we’d get the chance to chat with “the man.” Sometimes we did. Sometimes we spoke with Cherry, his wife. Memories.

I have much to be thankful for. My health. My marriage. My mother’s and mother-in-law’s health. My husband’s nephew arriving home from Germany today (in the military)! A roof over our heads. The unconditional love of Bruno and Lily. The warmth of natural gas. The electricity for my laptop. The get-up-and-go of my car. The clothes on my back (and front, thank you very much). The hugs I receive on a daily basis from friends. The realization that this will end in its own time, not mine. The change of seasons. The smell of dinner in the oven. The sound of the Packers winning (3rd quarter). The contentment of life and being alive. The friendship of new friends. The support from old friends. The knowing that I am a good person with good intentions and without my own personal agenda. The looking forward to Christmas because now that Thanksgiving had actually happened, the Father Christmas suit and bells need polishing and preparing for our first event. We’re ready…I think.

Happy Thanksgiving. Be happy in who you are, today. It can be, and should be, your foundation for tomorrow.

Now I really don’t know my dog. The last several days he slept in until 6:50am. No whining in the middle of the night to get up to piddle, no 5am whining to get on with our walk. Those of you who have or have had children tell me you’ve been there, done that. I don't have any children. I have a dog. When we brought Bruno home, I told Doc to treat him like a three- or four-year old. Basset hounds throw tantrums, whine and complain, talk back, and hold their ground just like a toddler. Tantrums are pretty funny. But lately, he’s subdued and he’s had difficulty with steps and furniture – yes, I allow my pets on the sofa. I don’t know what’s wrong and I’m trying not to worry. We’re going to the vet on Wednesday (regular maintenance of glands and nails) so we’ll get him all checked out. I want to do the best for the pets I’ve committed to bringing into my family but now cost becomes a bigger factor than ever. It’s hard not to feel guilty asking how much health care of an animal is in order to make a decision of what to do next.

Last week my husband found the article below. It encapsulated some of what I and others have experienced. Not sure if I agree with the 13 interviews statement, unless he was counting each person in a panel who may have interviewed him as separate interviews. That would bring one of my interview counts to nine on one day at one company – three panels of three.

A long wait for job offers
Friday, November 13, 2009
The Week magazine
With an average of six job seekers now competing for every opening, employers have the luxury of putting candidates through the wringer, said Diane Stafford in The Kansas City Star. “And, boy, is that frustrating the applicants,” who at every turn are subjected to blood tests, drug tests, and personality tests—often in vain. Gordon Bonnes, who works in the apparel industry, recently endured a drawn-out job search only to narrowly miss getting the position. He says you can’t blame a company for trying to find the right fit. “But 13 interviews may have been overboard.”

The best way to get past those barriers may be to find a back door, said Phyllis Korkki in The New York Times. “A lot of people don’t like to hear it, but it comes down to networking.” If you don’t have any connection to the company, there’s a good chance that you’ll jump through a lot of hoops for nothing. If you know someone on the inside, however, hiring managers may be willing to cut you a little slack—provided, of course, you can convey “what a witty, personable, flexible, cooperative, and hardworking employee you will be.”

It’s hard to keep feelings, specifically frustration, at bay during the hiring process when the competition is so intense and so well qualified. I just want to know where I stand so I can concentrate my energies on opportunities that are really interested in me and it’s up to me to ace it or blow it. When I was a hiring manager, I tried to push things along if not only to satisfy my own needs but to be sensitive to the people waiting for me to make a decision. This article has a cynical tone to it. I choose to think that most HR and hiring managers are conducting their process with more sensitivity and prudence than this implies. Even after 14 months.

We no longer need your services.

Bruno has had a tough week. It started with pain in his back that prevented him from doing even one step. He could walk just fine but going up steps was next to impossible. The strange part was that he could go down them. Doing his business outside presented a problem at 2am one night. He just couldn’t manage the two small steps. I had to put my coat on over my PJs and find something in the garage that would make a ramp. It took 30 minutes to get him inside and he was exhausted. So was I. But today he’s back to himself and we took a long walk on River Drive. It’s a great little neighborhood and he loves all the different smells. Right now Bruno is having his after breakfast nap on the couch.

Thursday night I received a call from a dear friend who had just been fired. “We no longer need your services,” they told her. There had been a few bumps in the road but from my perspective, nothing that would cause the organization to ask her to resign and when she refused, fire her. That’s from my perspective. I’m not sure anyone shares all the gory details about work even with close friends. It just isn’t done.

Laura cried. My heart sank because I knew very well what she was feeling and what she was going to feel over the course of this. It was why she called me and not her parents first. She was driving home and I asked her if she felt OK to drive; she could call me after getting out of her car. She said that she was OK. I knew she wasn’t but I didn’t want to abandon her. I asked Laura if she had all of the physical pain, too. She did. It's like that first puppy-love break up. It feels like your stomach being tied into a knot. And if you touch your skin, it feels like it has been burned and blistered. Every nerve is standing straight up and it’s strange that even the lightest touch is so very painful. The intense skin and muscle pain only lasts a few hours at most but it can return when you get into the deep sadness, almost depressive stage. The first stage, shock or disbelief, affects your emotions and physical being equally. Once she had gotten the whole story out, she was ready to get off the phone with me and call mom and dad. I was the rehearsal.

I chatted online with Laura early yesterday morning and she had gotten to the numb stage overnight. That’s good. It meant that she wouldn’t be in the grieving stage very long. She had already made plans to move out of her apartment and go back home. Her parents were being very supportive. This was Laura’s first real job out of college and her concern was her pride. She hates the idea of going back home and taking a temp job that her mom could get for her. Laura had had a temp position at her mom’s employer before taking this now defunct opportunity. It helped her pay for college and her master’s degree. I reminded her that they loved her there and she needed to feel wanted and appreciated and to be working. Being part of a contributing community is the one thing you miss most when you’re unemployed. She’s going to think about it.

I got the call from Laura’s firing squad last night. Laura had asked Doc and I to appear as Father Christmas and Mrs. Claus. Now that Laura was no longer with them, I was told, “We no longer need your services.” It was a relatively short conversation but I kept it professional and asked what publicity had been done. None, really, I was told. I explained my concern that their decision to pull the cord would look like our failure to show up. I was assured that that would not happen.

And so, Father Christmas and his wife will appear in Appleton at the Thompson Center’s Breakfast with Santa on December 5th. Hundreds of children and their families get the opportunity to meet with Santa in a private room away from the screams and squeals that the excitement of seeing Santa creates. It lifts my spirit and gives me hope for our future just thinking about it. It’s our fourth year and we wouldn’t miss it for the world. Our services are needed here.

Follow up and wait

Our walk Friday morning was a memorable one. I had an in-person interview and needed to get my day going early. We trotted down Verbrick to Adams and turned left. As we did, I looked to the sky to witness something I’d never considered before. In the East, the rose, and scarlet, and oranges painted the sky. In the West, I discovered the lavender, and blue, and turquoise slipping away and it looked just like “the blue hour.” At the end of each day, Doc calls that last bit of light before darkness takes hold the blue hour. He says that the blue hour chases the sun to its next destination. But now it was the sun chasing this blue hour. Almost as if the day was reversing itself. I thought about that for quite a while.

The interview that day went very well for me. I really enjoyed learning about the details that you only get in an interview and meeting the team I would work with via video conference. I’ve conducted video conferences in a sales setting but not in an interview so this wasn’t unnerving. That was good. I remember my first video conference. I was so nervous and the technology was new. I wasn’t confident then, but I was on Friday. I felt so relaxed and it felt good. My answers flowed and, again, it felt good. I’m so ready to get back into the workplace, I can taste it! I miss the dynamics of being on a team, being accountable to someone other than myself and my husband, and being a contributor. But, I was the first one to interview, there are nine more and I won’t know anything more until closer to Thanksgiving. Time to follow up and wait.

Saturday I worked on Mrs. Claus’ new bodice. Doc and I play Santa and Mrs. Claus, respectively, for several children’s events. Our interpretation is 19th century so it’s really Father Christmas and his wife. To get into the mood to sew dark green velvet, I warmed a Yankee Candle tart called “Christmas Eve.” It has a lovely spicy scent with notes of evergreen. At a certain point, I needed Doc’s opinion about the trim I would use so I called him into the room. We narrowed the plethora of choice down to something manageable and off he went. The next thing I knew, Doc was in the attic getting out the Christmas cards and his notes from last year’s holiday. An hour later he was near manic when I asked what the rush was on Christmas details. I mean, Thanksgiving is still 10 days away. And that’s when it hit me….the tart! Anyone in marketing and advertising knows the power of stimulating the senses and the sense of smell is one of the most influential. I warmed the tart to put me in the mood and didn’t think about what it would do to him. It sure did a number on him and we had a good laugh over it.

Today I had another in-person interview. Again, I feel really good about how it went. Like the interview on Friday, this is a new position and it’s important for the company to get the right person in place. As I look back at my past employment, there’s only one that wasn’t a new or dramatically changed position. I seem to gravitate to new opportunities. I’ll have to think about that. If you’re wondering which one I would take if I were offered both (several people have asked), I say, “How fortunate to have that dilemma.” So while I wait, in my follow up I’ll create the case for both of these employers to see me as the perfect fit and at the same time, continue the search, and do my homework.

Angry belly

If you’ve ever seen the movie “Alien” with Sigourney Weaver, you know exactly what an angry belly looks like. Bruno had the sound version at 4am today. And it was cursing in a language I’d never heard before. Why? Who knows? He hadn’t been to doggie daycare. He had eaten all of his dinner the night before. He hadn’t shown any signs of illness before bedtime. He had gone to bed and to sleep as usual. So when I first woke up to the sounds from his belly, I thought it was our cat, Lily, hunting down a mouse or perhaps, killing it slowly. Cats do that. But this yowling sounded more extraterrestrial and it was coming from my side of the bed. So as the cursing became louder and more frequent, at 5am I finally asked Bruno if he would like his walk now instead of 6:30am. With a very green, “Yes,” Bruno extricated himself from the warmth of his bed on the floor and slowly shuffled to the back door. Once we were both dressed (Bruno goes to bed naked – without a collar – and getting dressed means to putting his collar on), we set out into the pre-dawn darkness.

I’ve mentioned before that walking in the early morning darkness isn’t my favorite thing in the world. The streetlights were on, which helped. I decided to stick to Memorial Drive and head toward Bruno’s favorite spot…the gas station/convenience store. So many smells. So little time. I thought this route would keep me comfortable and perk him up. It did both. We got home just before 6am as the first few streaks of sun stretched across the sky. Bruno was happy to be home but his belly was still angry. He climbed into his favorite chair in the library next to the fireplace, without having breakfast. I turned the gas fireplace on to warm the room and heard his heavy sigh. Even though angry belly was still pitching a fit, the rest of my Bruno was ready to have his early morning nap.

I didn’t go back to bed. My day needed to get started. I had an 8am meeting to attend. I wish I could say that it was an interview but it wasn’t. It was a meeting of Lean Consortium NEW. This group was formed by participants of the Lean Lead Facilitator certification class. In August, Workforce Development found funding to offer the class. All we had to do was qualify for funding from WIA, Wisconsin Investment Act, and be unemployed and our tuition for this 120 hour, intense 3 week course was paid in full. I qualified. Becoming Lean certified is a big deal. It has helped several of my classmates become employed and it perked interest in me by more employers. I’ll explain more about Lean in another post. I want to get to what happened at our meeting.

I was in the charter group and we welcomed a second graduating class about a month ago. The melded group is very large now – more than 30 people – and is about to grow larger as we decided to extend an invitation to join to the third graduating class. Recently, we’ve experienced, well, let’s call it growing pains. There is a tremendous amount of talent in the group, all of whom are eager to find a new career and equally eager to gain experience using the new skills gained in the class. When the group grew, the pains increased. At our last meeting two weeks ago (my first with the newly formed, bigger group), I experienced a discomfort that I couldn’t ignore and I think I knew why. I’ve been unemployed for longer than most people in the group and I’ve been through the complete and deluxe cycle of grief over the loss of my job. I see pain on the faces of some of my classmates that’s hard to define but easy to see. Everyone in the group is at a different phase of grief. As we proceeded through today’s agenda and dynamics, I found it time to point out that we all have hot buttons that are easy to push and we don’t always know which ones they are until someone touches it. It’s like going to the dentist with a toothache. Until that metal probe touches the spot, it’s hard to know exactly where the pain is. Except, some of the folks don’t even know they have a toothache, but when that probe finds the spot… OUCH!

I hurt for them. It took me a few months to get a grip on my situation and decide how I wanted to go forward. I can’t fix it for them but I can try lead by example and show them that this isn’t fatal, there isn’t a gallon of blood. By self-assessing on a regular basis, you stay in touch with the phase you’re in and are able to manage it rather than it managing you. I consider myself “self-employed” and my business is that of selling myself and my brand. Who wants to buy emotionally damaged or worse, self-destructive goods? No one. My customers want confidence, talent, collaboration and focus. They don’t want baggage.

Every night before I go to sleep, I self-assess: have I used my day as productively and positively as I can? Am I in a good place, a healthy state of mind? Have I controlled what I can and put the rest into God’s hands? I do it because I want to help myself and I want to help those who need it, get through this process. It helps to keep me from waking up with my own angry belly.

Is there more pizza in my future?

The schedule has gone out the window. I don’t know this dog anymore. The past couple of days I’ve gotten up with him between 4:30 and 5:30am to let him out. After Bruno does his business, he goes back to bed until close to 8am. I don’t get it. The time change was last week and now my routine is messed up. Our walk didn’t take place until after 9am. I’ve got things to do, Bruno. It’s not all about you....well, I guess it really is.

I thought Friday was over when I last blogged but it wasn’t. Several weeks ago I had a phone screen for a green energy company in Manitowoc. They are looking for the right fit and the marketing position will be designed around that person’s talents. I did my best, sent my follow up and went on to other opportunities. You know, gotta keep moving forward yet spinning the plate every so often. In the afternoon, while I was out, a message was left. The VP of Sales and Marketing wants to meet face-to-face. Hot dog! The meeting was scheduled for this morning but late yesterday an emergency required my interview to be postponed to next Tuesday. More waiting, but I’m happy to wait on a good opportunity.

The weekend was delightful – warm and sunny; the last of summer slipping slowly away. Doc and I had houseguests from Lake Geneva Saturday night. By the time they left on Sunday, we were tired out. But it was a good tired.

Monday brought another opportunity for a face-to-face interview, well, mostly face-to-face (part of this one will be done by video-conferencing – very cool) scheduled for Friday of this week. That’s 2! Count 'em, 2 in-person interviews! I haven’t been able to score an in-person interview since late July. And now I have 2! Can you tell I’m very happy? To celebrate, we had pizza delivered. This is such a treat because two pizzas from delievered Pizza Hut costs $25, after a coupon and with a small tip for the driver. We always have leftovers (good for the next day or two) but to us it’s extravagant, nonetheless. Making it better, it was delivered by Thompson, one of the regular delivery guys we would get until we stopped having pizza delivered last Spring. He’s a really good guy who always has a positive attitude and a kind word. This time, he was happy about the for sale sign in the yard. Thompson knew I was unemployed so he thought we were celebrating a new job. It was so hard to tell him that wasn’t the case. He felt so bad. I didn’t want him to going away less than his usual self so I told him about the upcoming interviews. It helped. He wished me luck and hoped he would see us again soon. I do, too.

Better

Bruno had a really good walk today. We made our way down Memorial Drive to Riverview Lane and back. A quiet, and somewhat private street, Riverview Lane borders an older, public golf course. The houses here are modest but tidy and well kept. There was lots to sniff. Leaves had been raked into the street and the last blooms of summer were emptied on top. Bruno likes to get his nose into the middle of the pile and plow. Plow hound. But he never remembers that there is curbing in there and either he crashes into the curb or falls off it, deeper into the leaves. I chuckle to myself but sometimes I know it’s gotta hurt, poor pooch.

Leaves. We have two huge, very old maple trees in the front yard that dropped their leaves earlier this week. It’s a daunting task to rake them into the street and it takes a great deal of motivation to even get started. A quick side note: in June when we had the trees cleaned out of dead wood we learned that we have three families of flying squirrels (Rocky, of “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show”) living in our trees. I felt so bad watching them scurry looking for new homes in the tree but the crew assured me that they'd be safe and sound by nightfall. Back to the leaves. On Tuesday afternoon, the doorbell rang and there stood a Hispanic man. He explained, in very broken English, that he was our newspaper delivery man (yes, we still get the paper a couple of days a week – for the comics and grocery coupons, Doc says). He went on to offer to rake our leaves for whatever I wanted to pay him. I didn’t know what to say except to thank him for the offer but that I couldn’t afford to do that. He insisted that he would do the work for any amount of money and my heart sank. I knew that if I gave $10 or $20, all I could afford, he would have been very happy but I couldn’t do it. The amount of work this job takes (took Doc and I working together 2 hours) is worth so much more. I felt that I would be insulting him or at the least, taking advantage of his situation. So I told him that my husband and I were both out of work and that we had to do it ourselves. I’ll never forget the instant look of compassion that washed over his face. He was sad for us and said, “I’m sorry.” He turned and left. Today I left him $10 in an envelope right where he places the newspaper every day with a note saying thank you for great service. I feel better.

My phone screen on Wednesday went well but they’re going to take their time “to get the right fit. If it takes until after the first of the New Year, then that’s what it's going to take," she said. She went on to say that the current holder of the position was stepping down, not leaving. The woman had just given birth to her second child and wanted more time with the family. Since she wasn't leaving, the bank could afford to take their time. She told me how lucky they were to have so many qualified candidates apply not once, but twice. A firm reminder of our times. I haven’t sent my thank you note yet because I’m still mulling over a statement. I’d like to tell her that if I’m not the right fit to please choose someone else who is unemployed. I know there are people who have good jobs or even OK jobs who have applied for this position in order to get a better job or to move up the corporate ladder. That will always happen. In the best of times, when I have been the hiring manager, conventional wisdom said to hire the person with the job. But times are not conventional. I want to tell every hiring manager and HR professional, “If all things are equal or even close, hire the unemployed person!” You’ll get a humble, grateful worker who will appreciate the littlest things and work hard to bring the greatest value to your company. I’ve heard this statement from so many of my peers, unemployed and those recently employed. It’s true. Very true. The unemployed are learning lessons that the employed will never learn. Our lives and those of our families have been changed forever, for the better.

Happy and sad.

How well have you adjusted to the time change? Personally, I don’t mind it. It’s Bruno who can’t seem to adjust his eating and sleeping patterns. I do like the fact that we walk in daylight again at least for a few more weeks. It’s creepy being out so early but I know my big, “ferocious” dog will scare the pants off any would-be offender. One bark out of that hound and you’d likely jump out of your skin!

The last few mornings have been absolutely peaceful and perfectly crisp for our jaunt. This morning we went over to the Gardner Row triangle. It’s nothing like the Bermuda triangle. It has lots of unfamiliar smells because we don’t walk there often and I don’t have an explanation for that.

This week I’ve been able to celebrate a few people finally getting their offer. Judy, who provided me with contacts at EAA and The Kohler Co. got hers. A good job that won’t start until Dec. 7 and she seems pretty darned excited about it. I’m so glad for her. And, I heard from a fellow CCN member who got an offer from a company out in Virginia. A long way to go but I’d gladly do it for the right company and the right position. Every time I get an email, a phone call or hear it in a CCN meeting, I am genuinely relieved and happy for them. It’s one less person I worry about and it’s one job closer to my own success.

For the last week I’ve been waiting on pins and needles about the job that resurfaced from last December. The recruiter presented my resume again and hasn’t heard anything. I hope and I pray that this will be the one. In the meantime, I’m preparing for a brief phone interview tomorrow morning. It’s with First Bank Financial Centre in Oconomowoc. I did my research, looked at their information online (you know, history, the “about us” page, community involvement, etc.) and feel pretty comfortable with them. I haven’t been able to find any contacts there but I’m hopeful that I can shine on the phone to get myself invited to visit in person.

There was also the let down from the Appleton job – Fox Valley Technical College. It seems they hired from inside. While I appreciate that they promote from within, it’s so hard to hear it as an outsider. And I know that if there is an opening created as the result of this promotion, it’s likely to be a lower level position than I’d be considered for.

I just keep moving forward in the most positive means that I can. Sorry, dear husband, about the melt-down last night. I really dislike feeling and being sad but I know it’s part of the process. I’m just glad I don’t ever seem to be stuck in sad for very long. The thanks for that goes to all of you. Without your support and encouragement, I don’t think I could keep going.